Wedding fever is worth the wait

Whether in a relationship or single, many young women find themselves getting carried away with thoughts about their future engagement and wedding. (In fact, some women claim to have dreamed about their wedding day since they were a child.) It is hard to avoid thinking about (and planning for) these momentous life experiences when pop culture emphasizes the importance of being in a relationship and getting married. With television shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” (and 90% of all of TLC’s programming) and David Tutera’s “My Fair Wedding” it is hard to resist catching wedding fever.

When Jesse and I started dating in late 2010 I knew that he was going to be my husband. After being friends for so long I was already familiar with some of his good qualities. Within months we were talking about our Future. (The big “F”-marriage and spending the rest of our lives supporting one another.)  In January 2012 I attended a bridal show at the Bertram Inn in Aurora even though I was not engaged at the time. I’m not going to lie, it was a little awkward to go around to each of the vendors and answer questions like “when did you get engaged?” (I’m not engaged yet but I will be soon) and “when is the wedding?” (We don’t have a date set yet since we are not technically engaged). I had caught wedding fever and I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the excitement of being a bride and preparing for a wedding.

I joined both Pinterest and theknot.com in early 2012. I spent hours pinning wedding ideas that inspired me, such as bouquets and “save the date” invitations. I visited the websites of various gown designers and pinned my dream dresses. I watched “Say Yes to the Dress” and enjoyed critiquing the gowns the women said “yes” to. After joining theknot.com I browsed their list of northeast Ohio vendors (photographers, reception sites, etc.) and searched for wedding up-dos that worked for women with bangs.

By summer my enthusiasm for wedding planning faded, especially since I had yet to be proposed to at that time. Eventually, I lost interest entirely and I began to develop more negative feelings about the getting engaged and planning a wedding. When my mom would approach me with certain wedding ideas I would tell her I didn’t care since I wasn’t even engaged. I refused to get sucked into the wedding culture.

Now that I am engaged I wish I hadn’t spent so much time thinking about weddings so far in advance of the actual event. I think it took away from some of the enthusiasm I should be having now. I learned that wedding fever is worth the wait. It may be tempting to make a “My Future Wedding” board on Pinterest but I think doing this distracts you from living in the present. It also gives you too much time to create unrealistic expectations of what you are actually going to be able to afford (and what you will actually have time to create).

My engagement ring

One thing I kept myself from doing was figuring out what I wanted my engagement ring to look like. I remember going onto Blue Nile several years ago and designing a few engagement ring ideas. In reality, I knew I wanted something completely custom-made. To me, the kinds of rings you get from jewelers like Blue Nile or Jared are pretty but generic. My mom had a diamond ring that had been in her family for three generations and I was very fortunate that she was willing to give it to Jesse. The problem with pop culture is that it dictates how weddings should be executed and pigeonholes us into certain ways of thinking about a phenomenon. There is nothing wrong with watching bridal television shows or reading bridal magazines. However, your wedding ultimately needs to be a unique expression of who you and your fiance are.

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